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How Many Books Can You Put In An Empty Backpack

How can I make a flight more comfortable for two small children.

Hi, my children and I will be flying LA/NYC soon, and I would just like some tips as to what I can bring or how I can make the flight more comfortable for my two children… (they are 4 years & 2 weeks.)

I’m a former Flight Attendant and I now fly a lot with my own three children. I can assure you first of all, both ages are good for flying. Four year olds understand better what is going on better than 2 or 3 year olds do and are easier to keep occupied in their seats. The baby is so small that s/he’ll probably sleep the whole time.Since I’m a Flight Attendant, I have to tell you that the ONLY way to fly safely with a baby is to have him or her in their own car seat on board. Babies under age 2 are allowed on laps but if anything goes wrong, they’re not protected. Air travel is safe so there is very little chance of that happening. As a mom who has made many transaltantics with my own children, I have to admit that it was very nice to have somewhere to place the baby down. It was much more comfortable for me, my baby and everyone around us.If you didn’t book a seat, don’t despair! Ask at check-in if it’s possible to place an empty seat beside you. Often they do this for families. Check that your seat if FAA approved. Most sold in the U.S. are;http://www.faa.gov/passengers/fly_childr…If the seat is part of a travel system, you can gate check the stroller part at the door of the aircraft.Many times on the internet and elsewhere you’ll read that you’re supposed to make the children suck something on take-off and landing. This is actually a bit of a myth and there’s no reason to remove your baby from his or her car seat during the most important parts of the flight for keeping them safe. If they fall asleep, there is no reason to wake them. If you want to make them suck on something during ascent, not just take-off (when the plane leaves the ground) than by all means do so but I have never done anything special and they’re fine.What I do do is take them to the pediatricians’ a few days before flying and have him make sure their ears are healthy and infection-free. Healthy ears can handle pressurization changes.Try to book bulkhead seats (the ones with the wall in front). They are located in different places depending on the aircraft. These are convenient for children and some airlines even supply bassinets which attach to the wall. I will admit that this is rare but nice when you can get it.Bring a change of clothes and at least 1/3 more supplies than you think you need. Have the 4 year old bring a backpack of his or her own toys. Bring one new toy to surprise him or her onboard.If your baby is bottlefed, use the kind of bottles with plastic liners. Airplanes have really bad sinks for bottle washing and you can premeasure the powder beforehand to make the task even easier. Also be sure to get him or her used to a room-temperature bottle. Yes, they warm them onboard but be ready to feed your child anywhere, including check-in, security, etc. Since warmed bottles have no health-advantage to the child, make your life easier.I have never used any sort of drugs to get my children to sleep and we fly between Europe and California about twice a year. It can be dodgy and twice while working, I saw children get the opposite reaction. They were totally wired! I wont risk it either.My absolute secret to flying easily with a baby is to have a good baby carrier. I’ve tried all sorts but my sling worked best. The kind that dangle the child from the crotch, like Bjorns, aren’t as comfortable. With a sling, wrap or pouch, you can slide the child in and out of any bassinet or car seat and it’s nice to get on and off the aircraft hands-free, especially with other children in tow. I’ve had moms ask me where I got mine when they saw how much easier it made our flight.About seven years ago I wrote an article on this subject for a local expat newsletter. I’ve since had lots of feedback from other parents and expanded it. I put it on a blog to share with other parents after seeing really dire advice on the web. I flew as a Flight Attendant for over 10 years before having my first baby and now I’ve been flying for 8 years with my own. Feel free to visit;http://flyingwithchildren.blogspot.comHave a good, eventful-free flight!

im in a fight with a “friend”.

Ok im in a fight with a “friend”. First of all, i think he is a total fanatic with god and Jesus and all that stuff, which im ok with, but not when they are a FANATIC about this! Tell me is he a fanatic?His characteristics:He wears glassesHe always tells me that “Jesus wouldn’t want you…

Ok if your the kind of friends that can have a massive argument about a chair and a backpack then your probably not very good friends anyway. If you think he really needs you then Im sure that he will come up to you and apologise at some point anyway, just move on with your life and if you are good friends then it will all sort itself out at some point. And his religion and him wearing glasses should make no difference to your friendship.

Free vampire books

guy names for my book.

I was thinking Sterling…..but I want his last name to be Night and you know that sounds like chad ..anyways he’s 18 and has black hair that is kinda in his face (not long …) gray eyes and tall not like tall and supper skinny and not to tall just right lol and the girls name is Moon she has long platinum…

Here we go again!I think I gave this answer to like 5 other people, but I don’t mind spreading some insight to more people. I’ll try to be a little nicer since I got insulted the other time. (Deep breaths) Okay! I’m READY!!!No exotic names! (Sorry, that was too much. Just pretend the exclamation point isn’t there.) Here are my reasons why exotic names are not good. (Noticed how I put ‘not good’ instead of ‘terrible.’ :)-Exotic names make the character more detached form the reader.-Some people like to make these names so darn long that it’s hard to read.-It’s a waste of time. If all you can think about is the names, then it’s probably not a story that can keep you interested.When I think of a plot, a random name just comes to mind when I write my notes, and it just sticks. (Like a new book I just started, when I thought of the plot, the name ‘Ace’ came to me. So i used it.)Now, as for your writing…Star a new line and indent when new characters talk! (You should know that!)Umm… and I’m so sorry… but I didn’t think your writing was necessarily… good. The sentences were choppy. An easy fix to this is to have sentences of different lengths. They can be short. Heck, they can be long. Just not run-ons.The dialogue needs work too. Overall, I think you need to practice more. I would go into more detail, but the whole thing just has so many mistakes! (I’m not making fun of your writing. And it’s not fun to give bad criticisms, but someone has to!)Write more, it’ll help!

Does an old backpacking water filter need to be replaced.

I have an old Scout backpacking water filter that has sat on a shelf in our basement for 20 years. It was only used 3 times. Does it need to be replaced or can we start using it again. The ceramic filter can’t be replaced bc they don’t make that model any more.

It’ll need a clean but it’ll be fine after that if it isn’t damaged.To clean it, rinse it off and brush it under the tap with a stiff brush.. If the hole through the middle is small a bottle brush or a toothbrush could be usefulThen put it into bowl of warm water with a few drops of normal household bleach in it for an hour, or even better (But I bet you don’t have any….) is to make a solution of one Campden tablet in a pint or two of water and soak the filter in that for an hour.Camden tablets (or powder) is what wine and beer bottles are sterilized with before filling them, in professional vineyards and in home wine making.Find them in the supermarket or a health food shop that does all sorts of bits or in a home wine making store or through an internet shop like thishttp://www.eckraus.com/PS115.html . . . .Now it’s clean and any bugs living on it are well gone to bye-bye land.. Put the filter in the holder and pump water through it.Discard the first two or three pints and then empty the filter, wrap it well, and it’s ready to go camping.Some filters have a reverse pumping action for cleaning them out so you pump water through the ‘outlet’ side and that system is used as well in many of the expensive big filters for industry or large groups of people on campsites and by the Army for it’s 500-gallon water bowsers…It was one of my jobs as an Army medic to test the water from those and train people how to do it.Have a look if the instruction book is missing and see what you can do with it.When the water is filtered it will need sterilizing. Three ways to go or just boil it for at least five minutes.1…You can use those Campden tablets at one per gallon. You drink it every time you have a glass of wine. It’s used to stop fermentation as well as sterilizing the bottles and it breaks down to a pure harmless salt but the water will have a whiff of sulfur, which boils off if you’re cooking with it, or making tea or coffee.It can be easily hidden by adding one Vitamin C tablet per gallon. In wine it’s mostly hidden but you’ll see some wine reviews which mention a sulfur tang in the wine….not always a bad thing and for cooking wines it doesn’t matter at all. The tiny bit of sulfur soon gets boiled offThat method with Campden powder or tablets is done all over the world by trekkers and campers, and by local people who can get the stuff.Even African villagers do it…..if the traveling water teccie has paid a visit and left some Canpden powder or tablets. I always take some for presents when I visit remote villages and not only in Africa.I like Africa, seen some.. lots more to see. …Cry at the bank for me. It’ll get back sooner maybe. xx2…Put five or six drops per gallon of pure bleach in the water instead of the tablet. Mix well.Not bleach with caustic soda and perfumes and muck added….pure chlorine bleach….sodium hypochlorite with nothing else added.It releases chlorine, same stuff tap water is sterilized with. It’s safe to drink.The tang of chlorine is very small unless you overdose the stuff…use the vitamin C tablet trick.It works.3… Pay through the nose for sterilizing stuff that tastes awful from a camping shop. Again, the good old de-taster magic is done with a vitamin C tablet..In cold weather leave it for an hour whichever chemical treatment you use before using the water, to let the sterilizer do it’s work. In warm weather, 30 minutes.Have fun.

Possible to install a car alarm in a backpack.

So I’ve been wishing a good backpack alarm that works like a car alarm existed, however after much searching I’ve come up empty handed. I saw a couple cheap ones that had poor reviews, but nothing like i’m looking for.I’d like to be able to just have a keychain remote, and when I set my…

Ok the first issue is the battery. If you are planning to use a car alarm for the backpack, no matter how small a battery you find, it must put out 12 volts to power the alarm. It doesn’t matter how the motion sensor is oriented. It works off of movement and in order to make it work for a backpack the sensitivity will have to be set very very low since things are always moving and settling when you put a backpack down. you need the battery, brain, siren, antenna, and motion sensor installed in your backpack (you could even put sensors on your zippers if anyone unzipped the bag it would go off) but in all honesty the system itself would probably be more expensive than the backpack and half the “books” you’re carrying around. If you’re leaving that much valuable sh*t around in your bag unattended in the first place then you need to stop that, no alarm is going to solve that problem.Edit: You may be able to use a rechargable battery pack from a hobby store. This would cut down on weight and since you will be draining power, it would solve the recharge issue. I doubt they sell 12volt hobby batteries but you could prob connect (2)6volt batteries in series to get the 12v. I’ve included a link for some battery supplies.

How Can I Be More Green.

How can I be more green? Mind you, I’m a kid, so put down things a kid can do. Thanks! 🙂

Start with school supplies, don’t just empty your backpack into the garbage at the end of the year. Reuse you binders, use partial notebooks for notes or other purposes. Locate all your office/school supplies in one place so you don’t have to buy things you already have. Buy a plain backpack so you can use it for several years, you can decorate it with pins or key chains if you want to embelish. Use both sides of paper, print only the pages you need. When you need to purchase supplies look for recycled content, an non chlorine bleach paper.Eat less meat, and more local, organic in season produce. Help make meals at home so you don’t need to purchase so many packaged or take out meals. Pack a waste free lunch.Buy fewer clothes and look for organic cotton or other natural materials. Donate used clothes instead of tossing them in the garbage. You can also organize a clothing swap so you can change your wardrobe without spending any money.Conserve energy, many teens have several electronics and many use energy even when they are off. Plug everything into a power strip so you can shut everything off when you leave the house or go to sleep.Walk or ride a bike to school, friends houses, practice the mall etc. If you have to have a parent drive you to or from school arrive 15 minutes early and ask them to pick you up 15 minutes later, that will reduce the amount of time they have to wait with the engine running.Over the summer read “The Green BooK” this will give you many more ideas of little things you can do to help the planet, save money and improve your health.

Know any funny children’s jokes.

(I.e. What did the cow do for fun? She went to the mooooooo-vies.)

What has a head and a foot but no arms?A bed! (submitted by Sierra Mae)The turtle took two chocolates to Texas, to teach Thomas to tie his shoes. How many “Ts” in that?There are 2 “Ts” in “THAT! (submitted by Alan)What kind of keys do kids like to carry?Coo-kies! (submitted by nerd)Why do Teddy Bear biscuits wear long trousers?Because they’ve got crummy legs! (submitted by Emily is da bomb diggitty)Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?Because they take too long changing! (submitted by pokemon_master_99)Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?He wanted a clean getaway! (submitted by Lauren 12)What has 5 eyes, is blind, goes for miles, yet bumps into nothing?The Mississippi River! (submitted by Ally Cat)Whats the hardest part about sky diving?The Ground! (submitted by Lauren D)What gets wet the more you dry?A towel! (submitted by Danny Alley)What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?Every morning you’ll rise and shine! (submitted by Tru Playa)How many books can you put in an empty backpack?One! After that its not empty! (submitted by Heavens Angel_03)What washes up on very small beaches?Microwaves! (submitted by Leigh Teetzel)Why do candle trimmers work so few days a week?They only work on wick-ends! (submitted by Kayla)What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper?Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV? (submitted by Janet S.)What breaks when you say it?Silence! (submitted by Dawn)If Phil & Lil were a fruit, what kind would they be?A pear (pair)! (submitted by Britt & Emily)Why can’t you starve in a desert?Because of all the “sand which is” there! (submitted by Jessica Koehlitz)What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?A hole! (submitted by matt)If a man falls into an outhouse hole, how long will he be in there?It depends on how many moons he sees! (submitted by Taylor A.)What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?The road! (submitted by Moke)How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change! (submitted by Bria from Michigan)What bow can’t be tied?A rainbow! (submitted by LilG)What time do you go to the dentist?Tooth-Hurty! (submitted by Alexis Moore)Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?The scientists were brainstorming! (submitted by Kate Brown)What did the dentist say to his computer?You have a severe Megabyte! (submitted by Adrienne)Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?Because Donald Ducked! (submitted by Callie)What do you get when you throw Daffy Duck into the ocean?Saltwater Daffy! (submitted by bawjaw)Why did Jon go out with a prune?Because he couldn’t find a date! (submitted by Eric Sanger)What goes all around a pasture but never moves?A fence! (submitted by Scuba)How do you make a bandstand?Take away their chairs! (submitted by Annie Sligh)How do you say chocolate in French?Chocolate in French! (submitted by Sydney Robbins)Why did the lion spit out the clown?Because he tasted funny! (submitted by Annie Sligh)What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?Hi Cliff! (submitted by WJ)What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?Doyouthinkysarus! (submitted by Deano)What did the robot say when his battery went dead?AC Come, AC Go! (submitted by gloriafan)What did Pooh say to his agent?Show me the honey! (submitted by gloriafan)What’s the last thing you take off before going to sleep?Your feet off the floor! (submitted by Ariella)What rock group has four men that don’t sing?Mount Rushmore! (submitted by Megan)What should you do when you’re dying?Go into the living room & eat life savers! (submitted by Bob)What has four legs but doesn’t move?A table! (submitted by Brittany)What is H204?Drinking! (submitted by Karen)Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?His son…he was a little Bigger! (submitted by Mari)Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?Because he was sitting on the deck! (submitted by M.F.)Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?Because the poor didn’t have any money! (submitted by Jordan Fries)How do you make antifreeze?Hide her nightgown! (submitted by anonymous)What did one candle say to the other candle?Lets go out tonight! (submitted by Kate)What do you call a city with 2,000 eggs?New Yolk City! (submitted by Felicia)What is the best day to go to the beach?Sunday, of course! (submitted by Bo Cheever)Why did the man throw his pants out the window?He heard the newspaper boy yell “Free Press”! (submitted by Bear)What has teeth but cannot eat?A comb! (submitted by missmollylou)What did one elevator say to the other elevator?I think I’m coming down with something! (submitted by Greg)What goes up the chimney down, but not down the chimney up?An umbrella! (submitted by Kendra Taylor)What do you call a funny guy whose face changes colors?A chameleon! (submitted by Sarah McAlevey)What song does a van radio play?A cartoon (car tune)! (submitted by Gwynneth & Jaimie)Why is Santa Claus like a busy gardener?Because all he does is HO HO HO! (submitted by Bug)What do lawyers wear to court?Lawsuits! (submitted by Melissa)Why did the lawyer go to court in her underwear?Because she lost her suit! (submitted by Christian)What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?My pop’s bigger than your pop! (submitted by Carly)How can you tell a train went by?It left its tracks behind! (submitted by Carrie Sears)Why didn’t God make 2 Yogi Bears?He made a boo-boo! (submitted by Julianne M.)Why did Tigger look in the toilet?He was looking for Pooh! (submitted by Markie Sharp)What is big, red, and eats rocks?A big red rock eater! (submitted by Bob)If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?Pilgrims! (submitted by Zira)Why is Bart Simpson’s Dad afraid of Mark Magwire?Because he hits a lot of Homers! (submitted by Huh? What?)Does your shirt have holes in it?No, then how did you put it on? (submitted by Abby)

What are some jokes for kids.

Like:where does a bee go pee?at a BP station!Why do gorillas have big nostrils?so their fingers will fit in them!Please help me with this .. my 4 yr old LOVES these kind of jokes!!

Thats cute!Try theseWhat has a head and a foot but no arms?A bed!The turtle took two chocolates to Texas, to teach Thomas to tie his shoes. How many “Ts” in that?There are 2 “Ts” in “THAT!What kind of keys do kids like to carry?Coo-kies!Why do Teddy Bear biscuits wear long trousers?Because they’ve got crummy legs!Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?Because they take too long changing!Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?He wanted a clean getaway!What has 5 eyes, is blind, goes for miles, yet bumps into nothing?The Mississippi River!Whats the hardest part about sky diving?The Ground!What gets wet the more you dry?A towel!What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?Every morning you’ll rise and shine!How many books can you put in an empty backpack?One! After that its not empty!What washes up on very small beaches?Microwaves!Why do candle trimmers work so few days a week?They only work on wick-ends!What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper?Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?What breaks when you say it?Silence!If Phil & Lil were a fruit, what kind would they be?A pear (pair)!Why can’t you starve in a desert?Because of all the “sand which is” there!What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?A hole!If a man falls into an outhouse hole, how long will he be in there?It depends on how many moons he sees!What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?The road!How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change!What bow can’t be tied?A rainbow!What time do you go to the dentist?Tooth-Hurty!Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?The scientists were brainstorming!What did the dentist say to his computer?You have a severe Megabyte!Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?Because Donald Ducked!What do you get when you throw Daffy Duck into the ocean?Saltwater Daffy!Why did Jon go out with a prune?Because he couldn’t find a date!What goes all around a pasture but never moves?A fence!How do you make a bandstand?Take away their chairs!How do you say chocolate in French?Chocolate in French! (submitted by Sydney Robbins)Why did the lion spit out the clown?Because he tasted funny! (submitted by Annie Sligh)What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?Hi Cliff! (submitted by WJ)What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?Doyouthinkysarus! (submitted by Deano)What did the robot say when his battery went dead?AC Come, AC Go! (submitted by gloriafan)What did Pooh say to his agent?Show me the honey! (submitted by gloriafan)What’s the last thing you take off before going to sleep?Your feet off the floor! (submitted by Ariella)What rock group has four men that don’t sing?Mount Rushmore! (submitted by Megan)What should you do when you’re dying?Go into the living room & eat life savers! (submitted by Bob)What has four legs but doesn’t move?A table! (submitted by Brittany)What is H204?Drinking! (submitted by Karen)Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?His son…he was a little Bigger! (submitted by Mari)Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?Because he was sitting on the deck! (submitted by M.F.)Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?Because the poor didn’t have any money! (submitted by Jordan Fries)How do you make antifreeze?Hide her nightgown! (submitted by anonymous)What did one candle say to the other candle?Lets go out tonight! (submitted by Kate)What do you call a city with 2,000 eggs?New Yolk City! (submitted by Felicia)What is the best day to go to the beach?Sunday, of course! (submitted by Bo Cheever)Why did the man throw his pants out the window?He heard the newspaper boy yell “Free Press”! (submitted by Bear)What has teeth but cannot eat?A comb! (submitted by missmollylou)What did one elevator say to the other elevator?I think I’m coming down with something! (submitted by Greg)What goes up the chimney down, but not down the chimney up?An umbrella! (submitted by Kendra Taylor)What do you call a funny guy whose face changes colors?A chameleon! (submitted by Sarah McAlevey)What song does a van radio play?A cartoon (car tune)! (submitted by Gwynneth & Jaimie)Why is Santa Claus like a busy gardener?Because all he does is HO HO HO! (submitted by Bug)What do lawyers wear to court?Lawsuits! (submitted by Melissa)Why did the lawyer go to court in her underwear?Because she lost her suit! (submitted by Christian)What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?My pop’s bigger than your pop! (submitted by Carly)How can you tell a train went by?It left its tracks behind! (submitted by Carrie Sears)Why didn’t God make 2 Yogi Bears?He made a boo-boo! (submitted by Julianne M.)Why did Tigger look in the toilet?He was looking for Pooh! (submitted by Markie Sharp)What is big, red, and eats rocks?A big red rock eater! (submitted by Bob)If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?Pilgrims! (submitted by Zira)Why is Bart Simpson’s Dad afraid of Mark Magwire?Because he hits a lot of Homers! (submitted by Huh? What?)Does your shirt have holes in it?No, then how did you put it on? (submitted by Abby)Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?Because then it would be a foot! (submitted by lockjaw2.1)What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman with a vampire?Frostbite! (submitted by Ana G.)What has four wheels and flies?A garbage truck! (submitted by Megan Smith)Who stole the soap?The Robber Ducky! (submitted by Ryan)What goes all over the world but doesn’t move?The highway! (submitted by eggs)What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?A Puddle! (submitted by Chris Arellanes)Why did the traffic light turn red?You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! (submitted by Justine Osborn)What kind of boomerang doesn’t come back?A stick! (submitted by Matthew Coleman)What kind of flower grows on your face?Tulips! (submitted by Jason McMaster)What do you get when you cross a grandma & an octopus?I don’t know, but it sure can play Bingo! (submitted by Sarah A.)What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?Jungle Bells! (submitted by Maeve)Why did the man run around his bed?To catch up on his sleep! (submitted by Hannah Banna)Why is it cold on Christmas?Because its in Decembrrrrrrrrrr! (submitted by Allison)How much does it cost for a pirate to get earrings?A Buccaneer! (submitted by Harley (beasty))What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?Post Office! (submitted by NeNe)What is the difference between a jeweler & a jailer?A jeweler sells watches & a jailer watches cells! (submitted by Zach Tuchman)What did the pinetree say to his girlfriend?I’m fir you! (submitted by John Baker)What did Delaware?A New Jersey! (submitted by chronotrigger)Why can’t you play cards on a small boat?Because someone is always sitting on the deck! (submitted by Jay)Where does a king keep his armies?Up his sleevies! (submitted by Chelsie)What is green and has yellow wheels?Grass…I lied about the wheels! (submitted by anonymous)What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do at night?Lie awake and wonder if there really is a dog! (submitted by Snufelufogus)What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln & Christopher Columbus all have in common?They were all born on holidays! (submitted by Bo)What did the blanket say to the bed?Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! (submitted by Lindsay)What did one volcano say to the other?Do you lava me like I lava you? (submitted by Meg)Three people were standing under an umbrella…which one got wet?None of them, it wasn’t raining! (submitted by Bones)Why should you take a pencil to bed?To draw the curtains! (submitted by sausage)Why did the tap run?Because it saw the apple turnover! (submitted by lala)What did the sea say to the sand?Nothing, it just waved! (submitted by Emma J.)What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?You are too young to smoke! (submitted by Nascar_Man22)What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the frog have in common?The same middle name! (submitted by Nathan)What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out! (submitted by Sonia/Akhil)What goes up and down but never moves?The stairs! (submitted by Brandy)Why does Santa have three gardens?So he can HO HO HO! (submitted by Joe)What did Snow White say while she waited for her photos?Someday my prints will come! (submitted by Fireface)Did you hear about the robbery last night?Two clothespins held up a pair of pants! (submitted by Mr. Bill)Why do eskimo’s do their laundry in Tide?Because its too cold out “tide”! (submitted by Stephanie Fellner)Where was Mickey when the lights went out?In the dark! (submitted by Karli)What has 2 hands, a big round face, always runs but stays in place?A clock! (submitted by Samantha)What has a mouth but never talks, always runs & never walks?A River! (submitted by Samantha)What nationality is Santa Claus?North Polish! (submitted by Sam)What kind of button won’t unbutton?A bellybutton! (submitted by anonymous)A man walked into a bar…OUCH! (submitted by Lauren & Mary)What runs but can’t walk?The faucet! (submitted by Ericka)What do you call a man who crosses a river twice & doesn’t take a bath?A dirty double crosser! (submitted by Leonard)What goes up and does not come down?Your age! (submitted by Marcya)Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills! (submitted by Poppabear)What is big, red, furry and knocks you over?Tackle Me Elmo! (submitted by Jarret Y.)Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?Because he wanted to see time fly! (submitted by anonymous)Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?Because he wanted to work over-time! (submitted by Anonymous)What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in?A water bed! (submitted by Gretchen)What did one wall say to the other wall?Meet you at the corner! (submitted by Tiffany Dillon)What did the tie say to the hat?You go on ahead and I’ll just hang around! (submitted by Emily B.)What do you call a carousel with no brakes?Merry-go-round, and round, and round, and round!What do you call a snowman with a suntan?A Puddle!————————————–…What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?Rufffff! (submitted by Amers)What happened to the mouse who fell off the shelf and into a glass of Mountain Dew?Nothing, it was a soft drink! (submitted by Hannah)What do you call a pig who knows karate?A Pork-Chop! (submitted by Travis, age 6, from Jonesboro, Arkansas)What is a dogs favorite drink?Dr. Pupper! (submitted by Megan)Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?Because the kids have to play inside! (submitted by Jesse Brown)What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?Any dog, buildings can’t jump! (submitted by Connor M from Lake Ozark, MO)Why did the dog jump into the river?Because he wanted to catch a cat fish! (submitted by Jennifer McKeen)What looks exactly like a hippo but weighs nothing?Its shadow! (submitted by Alex)What does a frog do when its car breaks down?Gets it toad off and jump started! (submitted by Josh)What is the best year for a kangaroo?A leap year! (submitted by Hanna Johnson)What would happen if pigs could fly?Bacon would go up! (submitted by LeeAnne Burey from Timmins Ontario Canada)How do you close an envelope underwater?With a Seal! (submitted by Tyler Burey from Timmins Ontario Canada)Why do giraffes have long necks?Because they have smelly feet! (submitted by Mark Burey from Timmins Ontario Canada)Where do cats like to go on vacation?The Canary Islands! (submitted by Horser)If a wolf lost his tail, where would he get another one?The re-tail store! (submitted by paula)What is a horse’s favorite cartoon character?Whinney the Pooh! (submitted by Mayday Malone)What did the teddy bear say when the monkey offered him dessert?No thanks, I’m stuffed! (submitted by Mary)What did the fish say when it hit the wall?Dam! (submitted by Jake)How does a dog smell?Badly! (submitted by Thomas & Krista Kais-Prial)What kind of dog likes to take a bath?A Sham-poodle! (submitted by amanda)What monkey can fly?A hot air baboon! (submitted by Funky Monkey)What do you call a Triceritops that never gives up?A try, try, triceritops! (submitted by sweeTpi14)What do you call a dog that gets mail?A golden receiver! (submitted by Manda)What did the duck say to the comedian after the show?You really quacked me up! (submitted by Jessica Marquez, TX)What kind of shoes do chickens wear?Reebok-bok-boks! (submitted by Thomas)Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?Because they dropped out of school! (submitted by Taylor Brown)Why do birds fly south?Its too far to walk! (submitted by Clinton Ward)Why did the farmer take hay to bed?He wanted to feed his Night-Mares! (submitted by Jesse)What is a dog’s favorite snack?Pupcorn! (submitted by Desiree)Why did the cat run from the tree?It barked! (submitted by Ashley Washburn)Have you heard the story about the cat on the roof?Don’t worry about it, its over your head! (submitted by Nicole Z)10 cats were on a boat, one jumped off, how many were left?None, they were all copycats! (submitted by Adam Z.)What does a monkey shampoo his hair with?Vidal Baboon! (submitted by peewee)What is black & shiny, lives in trees, and very dangerous?A crow with a machine gun! (submitted by Simon Todd)Where do cows dance?At the meatball! (submitted by Sabrina M.)What does an astronaut’s penguin eat?Mission Chips! (submitted by LI)What do you give a pig with a rash?Oinkment! (submitted by Megan)How do you count cows?With a cowculator! (submitted by Callie W.)What does Cinderella Seal wear?Glass Flippers! (submitted by JOJO)Why is it loud in a barn?Because the cows have horns! (submitted by Bob)Which is more generous, a skunk or a giraffe?The skunk, because he gives off a scent! (submitted by WaCkO)What did the chicken say to the farmer?Nothing! A chicken can’t talk! (submitted by Alicia)What animal carries an umbrella?A raindeer! (submitted by A&C)What do frogs order in restaurants?French Flies! (submitted by T.T.T.)What day of the week do fish hate?Fry-day! (submitted by Beauty Spots)Where does a fish keep his money?In a river bank! (submitted by Joe)What do you call 100 bunnies jumping backwards?A receding hare-line! (submitted by Brogan)What is a frog’s favorite drink?Croak-a-Cola! (submitted by Brit)What do you give a sick alligator?Gatorade! (submitted by Michelle)Why does a hummingbird hum?It doesn’t know the words! (submitted by Zachary Fry)Did you put the cat out?I didn’t know it was on fire! (submitted by Lauren S.)Where do you find a dog with no legs?Right where you left him! (submitted by Lauren S.)What do you call a rabbit that is owned by a beetle?A Bug’s Bunny! (submitted by Biker & Pinker)How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses? (submitted by Clara DuPont)What does a crab use to call someone?A Shellular phone! (submitted by Holly)Where do penguins keep their money?In the snow bank! (submitted by Laynie)What do rabbits do when they get married?Go on a bunnymoon! (submitted by thewies)What kind of key opens a banana?A monkey! (submitted by Zach C.)What do you call a cow with 2 legs?Lean beef! (submitted by Sadie)What kind of fish has 2 knees?A two-knee fish! (submitted by Tiffany)How do you keep a fish from smelling?Cut off its nose! (submitted by Spike)What do you call a sleeping bull?A bulldozer! (submitted by Ange)What is gray, howls at the moon, and is full of concrete?A wolf, the concrete part is just to make it harder! (submitted by Zowie)Why do birds fly south for the winter?Its easier than walking! (submitted by Sara Anam)What did the judge say when the skunk walked into court?Odor in the court! (submitted by Kelli)What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?A sour puss! (submitted by Bo)What do you call a fish without an eye?A Fsh! (submitted by Veterano)What kind of cat shouldn’t you play cards with?A Cheetah! (submitted by Carley)What do you give a dog with a fever?Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! (submitted by Brockie)What is the quietest dog?A hushpuppy! (submitted by Little Helper)Why do cows wear bells?Because their horns don’t work! (submitted by Em Myster)What is a twip?What a wabbit takes when he wides a twain! (submitted by Farheen Dehlavi)What did the porcupine say to the cactus?Are you my mother? (submitted by Andrei)What is gray, has big ears and a trunk?A mouse going on vacation! (submitted by Emma J.)What kind of bears like to go out in the rain?Drizzly Bears! (submitted by Whazup99)How do robins get in shape?They do worm-ups! (submitted by Whazup99)What is brown, has a hump, and lives in the North Pole?A very lost camel! (submitted by Scott)Name six things smaller than an ant’s mouth?Six of its teeth! (submitted by Mr. JoJo)Where do horses go when they are sick?To the Horsepital! (submitted by Tiffany)What do you do when a dog is crying in the back seat of a car?Put him in the front seat! (submitted by Whitney Briggs)Why can’t a leopard hide?Because he’s always spotted! (submitted by Sonia/Akhil)What’s the difference between a dog and a painter?One sheds his coat, and the other coats his shed! (submitted by anonymous)What did scientists say when they found bones on the moon?The cow didn’t make it! (submitted by M. Grove)Which side of the chicken does the feathers grow on?The outside! (submitted by Karli)What do you call a cow that has just had a baby?A Decalfinated Cow! (submitted by Naomi)What does a nuclear scientist penguin eat?Fission chips! (submitted by Ravi)What kind of dog tells time?A watch dog! (submitted by Kellie H.)Why do bears buy cheap sneakers?Because when they wear them they still have bear feet! (submitted by Melissa from PA)What do you call a monkey holding a firecracker?A baboom! (submitted by Joshua B. Baker)What do cows do on Saturday nights?Go to the mooooooooovies! (submitted by Michelle)What did the cat eat for breakfast?Mice Cakes! (submitted by Marcya)How do you stop a rhino from charging?Take away its credit card! (submitted by anonymous)Why did Mickey Mouse leave home?Because his father was a rat! (submitted by Bill P.)What do you call a box of fifty ducks?A box of quackers! (submitted by Amber)What do you call a pony with a sore throat?A little horse! (submitted by Uncle Mark)What mouse doesn’t eat cheese?A computer mouse! (submitted by anonymous)Why are frogs good outfielders?Because they can catch lots of flies! (submitted by Aaron Tapp)What do rabbits send their mail by?Haremail! (submitted by Jeff)What kind of car does a cat drive?A Cat-a-lac! (submitted by Monica M.)What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish! (submitted by Christine B.)What happened to the cow who went for a drive?He got a moo-ving violation! (submitted by Brittany K. Payton)Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?Because he had a big bill! (submitted by Ashley Nimey)What does a shark eat with peanut butter?Jellyfish!What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!What do you do with a blue whale?Try to cheer him up!How do you communicate with a fish?Drop him a line!What do you call a cat at the beach?Sandy Claws!How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!Where do sheep go to get haircuts?To the Baa Baa shop!What do cats eat for breakfast?Mice Crispies!

Can anybody answer these EASY riddles.

1. What can you serve but not eat?2. What has ears but can’t hear a thing?3.How many books can you put into an empty backpack?4. What goes on red but stops on green?and last.5. Why are soldiers so tired on April 1stThe first one to answer ALLLLL these question right gets 10 points on the…

1. What can you serve but not eat?tennis ball (unless ur really hungry)2. What has ears but can’t hear a thing?a field of corn (corn is counted in ears)3.How many books can you put into an empty backpack?1, after that its not empty!4. What goes on red but stops on green?eating a watermelon.5. Why are soldiers so tired on April 1st?b/c they had a 31 day marchLulz.

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64 thoughts on “How Many Books Can You Put In An Empty Backpack

  1. Father: Yes.“What do you fix shoes with, mister?” he asked.5. Because they just had a 31 day march.

  2. “Hide, the cow’s outside,” the man said.Q: Wanna Hear a clean joke??“What?” asked the boy.Allen: Well, you don’t have to pay me.4. someone eating a watermelon5. It was after they March(ed)?

  3. 5.its after march

  4. There was once a tall cylinder castle. Somebody stole the King’s wallet who worked in the castle. So, he went to check who did it….4. What goes on red but stops on green? eating a watermelonQ: Wanna Hear a Dirty Joke??Doctor: Did u take the patient’s temperature?“What is this?” she asked as she tried to make out the scribbling.4. eating a watermelonStew: Three o’ clock.

  5. Allen: Dad, I can tell you how to save money.“I don’t care if it is. I’m not afraid of a cow,” the young boy replied.Get ur milk and mooooove along said the cow…

  6. 1. a volleyballStupid Stew: Oh, no, not again!Allen: Remember you promised me five dollars if I got passing

  7. “Naturally I may seem stupid to my teacher, but that’s only because she’s a college graduate.”2 cornan elephant asks a camel, “hey, y do ur humps look like boobs?”

  8. 😛 I got that off a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

  9. 1. A sentence (jail-time)

  10. Nurse: No, is it missing?“I don’t know,” Tommy answered. “I told you I couldn’t read”…

  11. I know this is a riddle, but this was all I could think of!

  12. …Stupid Stew: I’ve been asking people for the time all day, and everyone I ask tells me something different.ONE MORE THING: BUY A TREE! HELP OFFSET YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT. ASK YOUR PARENTS TO SEARCH UP THE MILLION TREE PROJECT!

  13. turn off things when you aren’t using them, like lights in your room. unplug electronics when they arent going to be used for a while (tv’s, game systems, cell phone chargers) they draw some current just being plugged in. if you have a computer, put it to sleep using the standby function when you aren’t using it (it should be right next to the shutdown option in the start menu)

  14. Why did Santa have three gardens?

  15. 3. one

  16. The answer is the maid, since there are no corners in a cylinder.

  17. 3NONE2. Corn have ears, I’m sure they can’t hear.Take your bike instead of asking your mom for a ride. Pick up cans and trash and put it in the right place. Drink tap water and not bottled water less waste in landfills. Grow more food at home like peas and carrots ect. Don’t use plastic bags use paper or cloth. Get your parents to buy more local the closer to home you get your food the less fuel needed to get it from the fields to your house.

  18. grades?

  19. So he could “hoe hoe hoe”!Good Luck

  20. First, he went to the axeman. He said, “Nope it was not me. I was just chop…chop…chopping the wood!”If you wish to discover ways to pull an ideal picture all that’s necessary is time and Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery guide from here https://tr.im/WQV1p to be in the proper path.“I can write, but I can’t read.’’ Replied Tommy.“Hide,” replied the shoemaker.Dad: I think so. What is it you want me to write?games coloring books

  21. Oh hardy har har

  22. 2. cornPortable dvd. Snacks, Board games, coloring books, gameboys.

  23. He saw the salad dressing.

  24. 1. What can you serve but not eat? a volleyballI told grandma i grow a foot,she said better get another a shoe

  25. 4. Traffic?5. B/c they had the March of 31 days!

  26. dvd player that will play g rated movies

  27. Flip: If you were in a jungle by yourself and an elephant charged you, what would u do?bring lots of pillows, books (exciting) if u have a laptop…bring a movie to watch on it, things like that…

  28. A man was putting up a knotty pine wall in the living room. His young son was curious, “What are those holes for?” he asked.Smart Talk: Hot weather never bothers me. I just throw the thermometer out the window and watch the temperature drop.hahahahahaha. That is sooo wrong but funny. I never expected that ending at all. I thought it would be something else.

  29. bring a stuffed animal or pillow to make the hectic plane ride more comfortable. Also, bring a good book or music to relax them (and gum when the plane goes ff and parks). Also, take the dividers off the seats so they can put their head on your lap and sleep

  30. 1 your countryQ: How much do pirates pay for their earrings?Lastly, he went to the butler. He said, “I was just help…help…helping the visitors!”.Billy: I got a hundred in skool today.A: a Buccaneer!1.a person , volleyball

  31. 1. A tennis ball?

  32. “I said hide,” replied the shoemaker impatiently.“If they’re not holes,” the boy asked puzzled,”then what are they?”1. volleyballJunior: Can you write in the dark, Dad?3.How many books can you put into an empty backpack? only 1 because then it isn t empty anymoreDaughter: No. The invitation said from three to six, and I’m seven.What did Delaware?…and just for the heck of it, an adult oriented joke.Flop: Pay him.DO I WIN!? lmao :D.

  33. Lil’ Jon: No, mom. The gurl leaving before me thanked her, and Mrs. Smith said, “don’t mention it,” so I didn’t.

  34. Doctor: Nothing.3. one after that its not emptyA New Jersey! (get it? clothes?)

  35. Dot: North or South?Then, he went to the maid and she said, “Not me. I was just sweep…sweep…sweeping the corners!”….

  36. 2. CornThe Canary Islands are known if you are the sunshine hub of Europe! See that sun with hotelbye . Canary Islands offer a mild temperatures and a range of fantastic normal attractions. Five of its seven islands have now been declared a Biosphere Reserve, and the archipelago has four national parks. Probably the most exceptional attractions in Canary Islands are the beaches since they are just ideal for enjoyable in sunlight or experiencing water sports such as for example windsurfing and scuba diving. In Canary Islands you may also be impressing by the interior interest like: climbing, period touring, hiking and even caving. Some of the most spectacular attractions of Canary Islands are: the volcanic landscape of Lanzarote, the beaches of Fuerteventura and Gran Canaria using their sand dunes, or the green forests of La Palma and La Gomera.

  37. Nip: The garbage man is here.Mother: Did you thank Mrs. Smith for the lovely party she gave?Tuck: Tell him we don’t want any.2. What has ears but can t hear a thing? a potatoStupid Stew: What time is it?“They’re knotholes,” replied his father.4. Someone eating a watermelon..!?Patient: What does the X-ray of my head show?5. Why are soldiers so tired on April 1st? They marched for 31 days the month of March

  38. Who stole the wallet?5. it was after they marched. like they marched for 31 days or sumthin.

  39. 5. Because they just finished a thirty-one day March.4. Eating a watermelon?Father: Really, how?Dit: My grandfather waz a Pole.Sam had just completed his first day at skool. “What did you learn today?” asked his mother. “Not enough,” said Sam. “I have to go baq tomorrow.”A: He took a bath!!

  40. “What for?’’ the boy asked.A small girl explained to her dad why her report card was so bad:If the filter out is new, or if it is been wiped clean with cleaning soap, the filter out will pump out foamy soapy water. Just retain to pump water via it till it is flowing transparent and blank. Shouldn’t take greater than 15 pumps supply or take a couple of.

  41. Put a bin under the shower while you wait for the water to warm up. Recycle old homework assignments, newspapers, etc. Turn off the lights when leaving the room. Turn off power strips and extension cords when not in use. Take your bike, use public transportation, or walk. Eat less meat, go for organic foods without pesticides and whatnot. Use natural light from the sun when possible, as opposed to turning on the lights. Use backs of paper. Take shorter showers. Turn off water when brushing teeth. Buy bamboo products with natural dyes. When shopping, bring reusable bag so you don’t waste plastic or paper. So many things!Because he was a freakin’ pirate and wasn’t close to any theater at that time.

  42. A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on the front of his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel?”… to which he replies, “Arr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”you can recycle more,use the back of the paper when you are drawing or mess up the paper,little things like that make a big difference! Hope I helped you! 🙂 ~Lexi~

  43. 3. 1, after that, it’s not empty anymore.

  44. 4. when you’re eating a watermelonA: A pig rolled in the mud!!!“Can you read and write?” the women asked Tommy.Why couldn’t the pirate watch the movie…?

  45. .Bring along toys, stuffed animals, books, etc to keep them occupied. Also bring along snacks and drinks in case they don’t like the plane food or want to eat at times the food isn’t being served. You may also want to bring extra pillows and blankets of their own that they may be more comfortable with.

  46. RECYCLE!!!!!!

  47. 5 because they had a 31 day march

  48. LOL

  49. and the elephant says, “well, it’s better than having a d*ck on my face”

  50. 4 When eating/chewing watermeloninspire your teachers and fellow students at school to recycle. put a recycling box in each of your teachers rooms for extra paper

  51. 3. none cuz if u put one in its not empty…

  52. 3. ??? (However many will fit)

  53. 2. corn

  54. Mother: Did you got to the party?Stew: What’s the matter?Tommy wrote something on piece of paper and handed it to the woman.

  55. The instructions from Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery guide contain 208 pages and an overall total of 605 illustrations. The basic approach applied is that you begin with a picture, bring a light outline of the feature, and then color it in.

  56. 1. You can serve time? In the slammer.

  57. For the 4 year old get the Crayola Magic Markers & Book, it is wonderful because it doesn’t get on anything. Plus they love them. Include a favorite toy or two, a book, blanket and at least 1 change of clothes. Also put in some snacks in case it won’t like what is served on teh plane. If you can handle it you may also want to bring along a portable DVD player with the favorite movies. It has definitely helped us on our flying. For the little one, make sure it is sucking on something during take off and landing. This will help to keep the ears unplugged. Have lots of diapers, changes of clothes and formula if that is what you are doing.

  58. Realistic Pencil Portrait Mastery is the right allied to help make the ideal draw.

  59. Mother: That’s wonderful, Billy. What did you get a hundred in?Portable DVD player, 2 sets of headphones, Disney movies, goldfish crackers, bubble gum, coloring books, all in a backpack that they carry.

  60. A small boy stood in front of the shoemaker’s shop watching the man at work.

  61. 3. 1, then it’s no longer empty.Billy: Two things. I got fifty in spelling and fifty in math.2. corn2. CornJunior: Your name on this report card.

  62. Why did the tomato turn red?“Well then, let me see how you write your name.”

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